It’s that time of the year again. My hands are shaking and I’m ready to go on a shopping spree. For some reasons, over the past several years I seem to be buying things to indulge myself in during the holiday season… I wonder what I will buy this time. I’m going home this year.. so maybe it won’t be so bad…
Oh.. and happy thanksgiving to all =D
I was reminded of an episode (Mathematics of Tears) of Andromeda today. At the end was this short dialogue:
Rev. Bem: I believe anything that can love has a soul. Have you ever felt love?
Rommie (Andromeda): I’ve learned that it’s dangerous to love. It can drive you crazy.
Rev. Bem: Then perhaps that’s what tears are for.
Mood: emotional roller coaster…
It’s astonishing how expectation could change one’s view of an outcome of some events. The higher we go, the higher we fall. Does that mean then that it is better to have lower expectation? Let us consider an event with two possible outcomes 0 and 1. Suppose that a person is monitoring this event. He/she will be happy if the outcome is 1, and sad otherwise.
Of course, the lower the expectation he/she has that the outcome will be 1, the happier he/she will be when 1 occurs. Let x be one’s expectation and let f(x) be the satisfaction function that is decreasing on x. If the outcome is 1, then the person’s payoff is f(x), otherwise it is 0. The expected payoff for this person is then pf(x), where p is the probability that 1 will occur. Given a value of p, we want to maximize f(x) to maximize the payoff, that is by making x smaller. However, we don’t want x to be too small (we know that if we are hopeless and have extremely low expectation, we would also be miserable). Let us then define g(x), a misery function that is also decreasing on x. We can then optimize the person’s payoff by finding the intersection of f(x) and g(x). Let’s suppose that f(a) = g(a). Then for any x<a, if f(x) > g(x), then we choose to stay on f(x) for x<a and g(x) for x>a. If for x<a, g(x) > f(x), then we would choose to stay on f(x) throughout. We have to balance between the misery before knowing the outcome and the satisfaction after knowing the outcome. Of course, if the probability of 1 occurring is very low, then he/she would be better off not expecting anything at all (if you are going to be miserable, then it’s better to just get it over with).
I have no clue how I just came up with that… it doesn’t even make any sense.. lol
Have you ever wondered how each and everything in the universe are connected? Have you ever wondered if a decision you made could be affecting millions or even billions other lives? What could have happened if today you had worn a pair of pink socks instead? or if you had walked a little longer to that coffee shop you had never tried before? or if you had taken a different route to work? How do you know that you have made the right decision?
It’s a wonder how each of us as an individual makes decisions, also as an individual that could be affecting how others are making decisions of their own. At each of the decision point, there is a nexus that can lead to many different and perhaps unpredictable outcomes.
As chaotic as it seems, what would happen if there is an equation or a series of equations that could describe this complex system? What if our consciousness could be linked together and make decisions as a collective? Would it be easier to make a decision? What if we could look into each link within the nexus, where each path will take us?
Staring through the windows, flakes of snow are floating. Unable to resist the unrelenting gravity, they slowly drift toward the ground. If they were alive, would they be wondering why they are falling? or where they are falling to? Would they wonder if they would be gathered by some young children to make a snowball? or even a snowman?
Winter has come. Summer has gone. Seasons change. Things change. Time moves forward. We move forward, adrift, wondering where we would land…
A great movie. Very beautiful story. It’s one of those movies that could keep me shaken (emotionally) for much of the movie. The movie just came out.. (sneak preview today), so I’m not going to spoil the fun for you… It’s a must see.. especially if you love music.
Just when I got home tonight, Amy said to me “Scott and I were talking about how TV punishes people with no life.” I just cracked up laughing. Well, it is sad but true. There’s really nothing good to watch on TV Friday nights.. and probably for a good reason. For crying out loud, it’s Friday night! For me, what I do Friday nights pretty much depends on my mood. I don’t mind staying in, and I wouldn’t mind going out with some friends either.
Anyway, with that being said, I went to a dinner at my friend’s place tonight. While we were talking and enjoying the dinner, someone was flipping through the channels on the TV and landed on a channel. On screen, there were people in a small submarine going through wreckage of a sunken ship. I thought the scene looked familiar, then someone said “Is this Titanic?” I wasn’t sure at that point, and as it turned out it was Titanic. We (well… some of us) sat there watching that, at least until I left.
I think Titanic is a good movie. It was the second time I watch it. I personally like dramas, however, I do not usually watch the same one twice. Mainly, it’s because of how these movies could bring out so much emotions in me. I’m easily moved by passions, characters’ love, heroic actions, etc. When I watch these movies a second time, I know what will happen in the movie. I know that someone is going to be heartbroken, or maybe someone is going to die, and I usually don’t want to put myself through such emotions.
I would have finished the movie, but my ride had to leave, and so I had to leave. When I left, the ship was sinking and Rose just helped Jack breaking out from handcuffs. Well.. we know how it ends afterward. Maybe I’ll look for a DVD of it when I have a chance and finish it…
Okay… I think I should stop now.. this is quickly becoming a girly blog.. 
”Once more you open the door, and you’re here in my heart, and my heart will go on and on.”