I just thought I would post something while waiting for this bloody simulation to run. Here’s an excerpt from the song “Art of Life” by the band X Japan.

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can’t leave my dream
I can’t stop myself
Don’t know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called “Now”
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can’t let my heart kill myself
Still I haven’t found what I’m looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?

Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can’t let my heart kill myself
Still I’m feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life

Alrighty.. back to debugging this stupid code >.<

It’s been almost exactly 5 months since I last wrote into this blog. Well, this entry exists purely as a reminder for me at this juncture in life. Hopefully years from now, this entry will be a reminiscence of whatever is left of a short-lived fantasy; a wonderful one, yet impossible for some fatuous and absurd reasons beyond my conception.

It is not often that we meet someone who we can almost always feel some connections; someone whom even as we become more acquainted, we would still feel as if there are mystery left to be found and that there is something about that person that keeps piquing our curiosity. As we are drawn closer and closer to that somebody, we start to wonder what this relationship could become and where we could end up. It is perhaps in our nature to be curious, and we sometimes do things that may seem stupid and illogical just to satisfy the curiosity. But are those things we do really stupid or illogical if they allow us to eliminate doubts? At the very least, we would not have to guess where things would take us and what could have been or what could have become of us. To have the privilege of getting to experience that taken away is the same as having our eyes blinded. Not only is it hurtful, but it is also insensitive and outright cruel…

As a result, these questions will be left unanswered. Years into the future, I will be looking back on today and would still have those same questions lingering in my mind. It will take time, but eventually I will be alright. I will always have those doubts, and I will be wondering of what could have become…

I’m glad that I have half a gallon of my favorite ice cream in the freezer waiting for me… O’ Bittersweet Mint, you are my BFF…